At 8:30am I found myself sitting in a donut shop in the valley, munching on an egg and cheese bagel and sipping the largest small cup of coffee I’ve ever seen. Odd, you ask? Yes, odd. Here’s how things are flowing in my world these days, to take me to the Donut Inn on this soggy grey Thursday.
1. On first super hot day of the month (I don’t remember which day, but it was hot. Damn hot. Real hot. Like, oh god that’s right summer is coming and I still don’t live in an air conditioned world, hot.) the air conditioner in my car stops working.
2. At the next available opuurtunity, take the car to the AC shop for freon refill.
3. Receive phone call from AC repairman informing you that car needs new air compressor and some other things you can’t remember, adding up to an entirely new air conditioning system. For the bargain price of $1100. (Curse the gods and weep secretly in the bathroom.)
4. Realize that said air conditioning system seized up almost exactly 3 years ago (when I was almost exactly the same amount pregnant.) Have a chuckle remembering how the car caught on fire as I was driving back from the airport with my mother, leaving me literally barefoot and pregnant on the shoulder of the 110 between the Manchester and Florence exits. (If you’re not from LA, take it from me that this is not a good place to be. Especially barefoot and pregnant.) Further remember with some relief that car was still under warranty and air conditioning system was replaced by Mazda.
5. Pick up car and take it to Mazda, explain situation and leave, full of hope.
6. Receive phone call less than an hour later confirming that entire AC system needs replacing, informing that Mazda only offers a 12 month warranty on parts, and quoting even more than the other guys to fix it.
7. Pick up car. Mazda repair guy (whose name tag says “Tuffy”) hands you a bill (incidentally, double what the other guys charged for diagnostic) and with an apologetic shrug, a nearly half page list of other “problems” they found and suggest having fixed. Do not look at list. Struggle to hold it together while signing credit card slip. Weep openly in car while driving to work. (I’m pregnant. Give me a break. I cry at toilet paper ads right now.)
8. At next available opportunity, take car back to the first guys, who assure you it is a same day job. Jump in husband’s car who kindly drives the whole family to Mila’s daycare, then drives your ass all the way to Laurel Canyon for work, returning 6 hours later to pick you up.
9. Husband informs you the AC guys called and one of their guys is sick, so the car won’t be done today. (Yesterday.)
10. Find out that husband is working in Playa Del Ray (in other words, the other side of the world) tomorrow (meaning today.) Begin trying to figure out how to get daughter to daycare, husband to Playa Del Ray and self to work in Hollywood.
11. Solution: get up really fucking early.
12. Wake up to rain. Lots of it.
13. Commute to valley, via daycare. (Nowhere near valley.)
14. Look for Starbucks.
(I am not crazy about Starbucks, but this is the second time in a week we have been looking for one and have found them to be utterly unaccommodating. Starbucks: everywhere when you don’t want them, but nowhere to be found in a crisis.)
15. Find Donut Inn instead.
While waiting for my egg to fry, I perused the “Wall of Stars” pictured above, expecting the usual valley-strip-mall-business lineup of head shots of local news anchors at best and complete unknowns (from last decade/century) at worst.
Find it instead to be AMAZING. Someone spent some serious time putting this together.
If you can see past my reflection in the glass (terrible, sorry), take for instance this shot of Kelly from Beverly Hills 90210, with a box of Donut Inn donuts on the dashboard of her… what did she drive again? Maserati? Bentley?
The caption says:
“In a segue from “Beverly Hills 90210” it seems like one of the series stars has DONUT INN doughnuts on her mind. Did you see this episode? Do you know what she is really doing?”
Now, I don’t remember this episode (I think Kelly went through an alcoholic/diet pill popping phase, I would guess she’s either about to have an accident or go see a plastic surgeon) but I am very impressed with the use of the word “segue.” That’s a tough one to slip into conversation.
Behold, Mel Gibson (pre crazy nazism) flying a full metal mullet :
Note the cop next to him carrying the Donut Inn box.
And my personal favorite:
I know this one is really hard to see. It’s Clint Eastwood. To be honest I don’t know who ther other guy in the car is, or what movie this is from. But there is in fact a box of donuts on the dashboard, and if you look really close at the caption on the right, it says: “NO CELEBRITY ENDORSEMENT IMPLIED.”
You gotta love the valley.
